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My friend, I see you.
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It’s Father’s day. So many people are posting happy things on Facebook… photos of them and their fathers, laughing, smiling, making beautiful memories. You know you ought to be happy for them, but all you can feel is the ache inside…. for you never had that with your father.

My sister, I see you.
You feel like your whole life is ruined because you never had a godly example of manhood from your father growing up. You have a twisted view of men that frustrates you. You worry that you’ll never be able to get married because you’re so damaged.

My friend, I see you.
Father’s day hurts now, because it reminds you of your loss. Others will see and celebrate their fathers today. You won’t see yours again…. perhaps ever. It is a day of mourning for you.
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My brother, I see you.
You’re afraid to get married for fear that you’ll act like him. Your father. The man who hurt you and your mother. The man you saw abusing those he was supposed to cherish and love. The fear paralyzes you and makes you cry yourself to sleep some nights. You want a real family, but you can’t imagine ever doing something like that to anyone…. maybe it’s safer to live isolated.

My friend, I see you.
Your father wasn’t around. He wasn’t a “bad father”. He didn’t hurt you. He just…. forgot. He was just busy. He’d tell you that he’d take you out for your birthday, and you eagerly anticipated it, but the day came and went and he didn’t remember.
You feel like you don’t really have a right to be hurt, because he provided for you and loved you in his own way, but the neglect hurts and you can’t get rid of it.

My sister, I see you.
You’re scared of men now; sure that, deep down, they’re all like your dad. He seemed so nice to outsiders. He knew all the right words to say. He was even nice to you sometimes… but the nice times were the most horrifying, because you knew that they were leading up to something terrible…..

My friend, I see you.
The Lord sees your pain and does not condemn you.
The Lord knows your brokenhearted grief.
The Lord can restore a balanced view of manhood and leadership, even though your experiences have been so evil.
You are not doomed to repeat the sins of your father. Actively identify and replace the thought patterns that would render you like Him, and seek counsel. There is victory and hope in Christ.
Our heavenly Father does not forget nor neglect His children. Being hurt is okay. Run to Him.
Take your fears and insecurities and broken trust to Christ, and believe in His effective work in those around you. You can trust again, based on His promises.

” Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” -Psalm 68:5

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